23/8/13.

I feel like pouring my heart out for something. All I ever frickin think about these days is you. The yearning is so deep, so intense, it cuts messily through the tangled muscle surrounding my beating heart, leaves me jagged and near insane. All I think about is you. It’s always the way you look right at me, right into my eyes; every time I look straight back at you I’m lost in your big brown eyes. I can’t. I could cry, it rips me apart when I immerse myself in your gaze. Our time is ending and we have so much more to cover. All these weeks of pretending have hollowed me out until there’s nothing left but a constant aching desire for you.

I’d like to think you always have something to say to me. Our time is running out. It’s ridiculous how  I’ve fallen for someone who has the beautiful features of which God has bestowed upon. With those eyes, you fill them in with your soul. Yet you still remain a mystery. You infuriate me, but sometimes you make me tingle all over with just your breath on my shoulders. And the way you stare-oh boy, those eyes when you look at me, is as if you knew all the discomfort and uneasiness and jitteriness  I  feel whenever you’re around. I know- maybe that is what you want to tell me. What’s funny is that you don’t even offer protection. You’re the type who’d stand and watch, but you wouldn’t stop to care. Yet I still fall so hard.

I love seeing you laugh whenever I do stupid things. Everyone else could be laughing, but it’s only you that I watch. What makes my heart  latch onto yours- I could never explain in words, but it leaves me in a confused mess, a terrified lump of longing. If only someone else saw the signs, they could be witness. It wouldn’t just be me catching your intense gaze. Then someone else would notice. And then I will know it’s real.