I can't do it anymore I swear. I know I said I'm going to try hard to see the good in everyone I know but I can't man. I just cannot take to pretending that I'm perfectly fine with a particular person (or more than one in this case) but then oh, they'll think I'm leading them on and pretending to be friends with them just so I get benefits.
So what now? I think most of the time I feel so frustrated in my own skin is because of the fact that I know I'm not being true to myself. If I try to be friends with everyone it tires me out and I'll constantly have to put on this mask. What's even more frustrating is the fact that everyone expects me to be that one person to crack a joke or always be happy and fun and make them laugh. Then what do I get?
If I want to be on my own people think I'm being arrogant or selfish or just anti social. This is what people don't understand and it is that I like being alone.
Of course there are the occasional breaks where I'd like to get to know someone better and I like those kinds of moments, because they are real, offer an insight to a life much worse off than mine.
Are you surprised at the number of people who are so delusional about everything, and then having another party taking advantage of this flaw? Frustrating how I see it all unfolding before my very eyes and people just don't realize it omg are you really that stupid.
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