Today was the day

And so the big day came. After an agonizing week of waiting and frantic recovery of published works, rushing to get a referral letter from any teacher,mental preparation, I felt I was ready.

At least I thought I was.

I was okay in the morning. I really was. I saw it as just any  oral examination,minus the picture discussion and reading, and I decided I would treat  the interviewers as my friends.In fact in the morning I was going around asking people,"Who is your favourite hero and what sort of traits do you think a hero should have".etc etc.

Close to 1pm, my palms started to become clammy,my heart was palpitating,and I couldn't concentrate because my stomach was churning a million times over. And then the bell rang.

So there I was, like a soldier sent out to war,clutching my notebook tightly under my arm, teeth gritted, and ready to face the onslaught of what was to come

Ok,exaggeration. I only left early because I wanted to go home and change heheh. But I was making calls to my mom and asking if she was already out of school,and panicking over an un-photocopied certificate,unnecessary fretting over trivial matters.

I was ready by 1.45 and then my mom made me change into a skirt -.- because apparently,"they wouldn't make a good impression" and  then I just had to wear the most ill-fitting uncomfortable shoes which kept coming out as I walked,so then I had to sort of half-limp and waddle everywhere. Good impression huh? Very.

So then I was there like half an hour early, woah. Ok this,I have to admit is a good impression,thanks to my Modo.

This lady with a phillipino accent  ushered me into a really comfy seat which I sank in and wanted to stay there forever. She had to scan some of my best works and certificates and blah, and I only waited all of three minutes before she said the interviewers were ready to see me.

Horrors! This tall lady  came to door and  gave me great big smile,and then she pointed to the other man seated at the table, saying he was the Director.

I think I was the first one to be interviewed. And it went pretty smoothly.I tried to sound all mature and radio like,hahah and then I kind of went on and talked about my career prospects,that I want to be a Journalist,yada yada.They also said I have to pass math!Because it's included in the modules and it's very fundamental. Dampening too :( So now I don't have an excuse to fail math. MUST.PASS.

And then the Number One Major Embarrassment! Remember when I said I was going around asking my classmates about heroes? Well I asked them that!!!! GAAAAAAAAHHH. They were evidently taken back, because then the tables had been turned and I was the one asking THEM questions,and I had my eager face turned on full mode and then they told me  there were other candidates who were waiting. But the Director was nice,he gave me his card so I could email them the questions about Heroes. But by then I wanted to bury my head in some hole and never see daylight again.

At least I walked out with some grace and pride intact when he gave me his card.Some.

So then 15 minutes,and WHOOOP overrrr!!!!!!!!


And now all I have to do is pray. And wait.

Everywhere I sit with whoever I get told off

So yesterday we had Geography and Syaza was showing me something really shocking and I was having  a fit and so I got told off. Whether its with Afiqah or Syaza, I always get told off.

Besides that,I wanted to continue my nondeveloped rant about something I had xdmnbdffkjdflkfdh earlier

We were doing social studies on thursday,and were doing a paper on Globalisation- something about workers being ill treated and committing suicide. I really really expected A.K to sort of give his strong opinions about it,but it seemed as if matching sources proved to be more important. I got a little restless after a while- lives cost over the expense of cheaper iphones were really starting to get to me. But my teacher was more interested in "finding the similarities and differences" rather than focusing on the problem.
I was upset and  a little disappointed because I realised to such extent, the technicality of the subject; so intent in getting the format right, that human distress is entirely overlooked. I felt impatient and couldn't take it, this insouciance of such things

But who am I? Cross referencing and deciding for yourself which source is more reliable,I guess that's pretty important.

And back to Geopgraphy, at least Geography is  a little more humane,for instance this perspective-changing recount my teacher told us. I couldn't stop thinking about it the whole day





Interview in 3 days   :O

Live to provide

Yesterday was the first night class/night study  and i was there with the girls <3
 I felt proud to be a muslim ok,when we were waiting for the Azan in the canteen to break our fast. Then when it came I held up my phone with such proud flourish n_n ehehehe all the kafirs were looking at us,and we were the only table that had people having a full-out meal while everyone else was mugging away.
Later on we looked for a place to pray [except I didn't,I cant :((( ]
And Nat and Afiqah were running across the courtyard, past all the classes in their telekong. HILARIOUS SHET

It was the funniest thing ever,I'm smiling as I write this.

And in calss I was thinking about the political side of things,Ok,more educational,but yeah it seems now I can't bring myself to write it out because I'm too lazy and Iftar is coming

So,

I talked to Mr Gazelles today. I was just asking him about testimonials and reference letters that might help me prepare for my interview next Tuesday.
I swear,his face fell when I told him,"Republic Poly"
He's been sorta condemning RP and their education system,and his face wrinkles up whenever someone mentions that school,but I mean  SO WHAT RIGHT

Besides RP is gorgeous. And no,hor I am not just saying that just because some RP management might read this but whatever lahh

I mean, be it lectures or classroom learning environment, I'm sure I'll adapt to something. And I'm serious ok, about the school being gorgeous. Because it is.

And it's not just Mr Gazelles ah. Yesterday Jun Ren was telling me about some poly related stuff,because we're going on this Learning journey to Nanyang Poly on Friday. And he said something like he wants to go to JC instead (hahah really ah) and then like Mr Gazelles,he was condeming RP and saying it's the last of the five polytechnics blah blah. And I remember I was like, " HAAAAH?? REALLY AH I PUT REPUBLIC AS MY FIRST CHOIC-" yeah then Afiqah shushed me before I made myself the class ass

But I don't care. There's bound to be opposition to the choices I make,and as long as I do what's right and place my faith in Allah,it will all prove to work out in the end

And maybe things aren't all too bad. When Mr Gazelles heard that  the course I applied for was mass communications,his face lit up a little. Or maybe it was just the staff room lighting.
But why go with what people say? At least I got called down. And if I do this, nail this,get this, then O Levels -just like A.K likes to say- can go fly kite.

I shouldn't count the chickens before they hatch,though. From now till the interview,anything can happen. I just don't want to keep my hopes too high. Stay humble:)
I have to get through this.I hope I do.

News?

Any news about my DPA? you bet!
I only just opened my email to find an offer from Republic poly,for mass communications
Alhamdulillah!

I'm on top of the world:)

Hahahaha and to think,that a couple of posts back I had confided about this "nigging feeling" that Republic will ask. Just like Afiqah would say-well what do you know (is that how you say it?It looks funny typed out)

Exploring the "feel" of Ramadhan

The muslims who fast will say that the moment Ramadhan comes round,they have found a sort of 'inner peace' within themselves.
I don't want to get shot or hound down for saying this,but I  was just wondering if having people telling you over and over how peaceful and beautiful Ramdhan is has a sort of thearapeutic effect on a practising muslim.I was thinking, 'The Placebo' effect, like maybe you are so convinced about the beautiful peaceful feel that you truly believe.

And I'm not saying I'm not believing,I was just wondering,because I've seen so many tweets and facebook posts about this feel of Ramadhan.

I mean,I feel it too.It's a great feeling-you submit yourself  to Allah and you're constantly reminded to watch your actions and attitude.You are less distracted. Well at least I am.
For instance,today was pretty productive.
I studied for about an hour and a half straight after sahur.(ok,nevermind that I slept after that and was late for tuition)
And I took a twenty minute to boost myself. By the way three hour naps while fasting just to beat the hunger pangs are a huge no-no.

And I actually studiedso hard ok

aha ahah iftar coming seeya

WHY FRIGGIN WHY

No calls, no texts,no e- mails.
Already four of my classmates who applied for DPA have been called down for an interview.
When will it be my turn?Will they even consider me?

I'm not going to make it,am I?

what

I know maybe I'm not one to judge blahblah but
 it irks me sometimes when tudung-ladies or okayyy,the more glamorous term-Hijab clad women-
 go out wearing tights
Maybe if you're skinny it's okay? Maybe not? But seriously,the concept isn't to just cover- the concept is to COVER.
And yes I know,given the modern times we want to keep up with the West and what, "muslimify" the western clothes ksjschfsd.kcjvjckdn but yeah.Tights don't  go with scarves.Neither do painted on jeans.
Another thing is this couple thing?

I mean do I actually have to explain myself.Women in scarves/hijabs with boyfriends and holding hands and smoking.

So what is that hijab doing sitting on your head? Perhaps It's a fashion accessory.Oh ignore the fact that the fundamental use of the hijab is to protect you  from uncivil acts etc

To sum it up,its like wearing oven mitts to protect you from getting burnt,then putting your hand in a fire anyway.

MY TAKE!

Just my opinion okayyyyyyyy anyway to talk about (bleah) school related stuff, I know two people who have been called down for an interview via DPA. Hafeezhah,who else.But she deserves it anyway.
What if I don't get in? And why do I have this nigging feeling that Republic Poly will ask?
Lolololo prasan-ness. I need to get a call OR an e-mail.I need to get this.

I have my prelim results back (oh joy). At least I passed.25 points is pass right? :B

Bodohness

Lalalalalala

So today A.K was asking the class who applied for DPA. And although I know FRANKLY QUITE  A FEW DID,  no one raised their hands. So then he kinda shrugged and said, "go in based on results,don't need to talk so much"

WAHLAUU

So then Zah looked at me,and we were wagging eyebrows at each other. Obviously we were thinking the same thing- we are soooooo not asking him for a testimonial.
If only Ms Chia were still here.I miss her so much :'(

Why am I wasting time doing this

I have gotten most of my results yadayadayada everyone's talking about oh how bad they were blah blah so I'm gonna skip that shit.

I can't sketch quadratic graphs and every time I ask someone for help no one seems willing.And the questions always change and how the hell is completing a square going to eliminate world hunger.
I'm looking up youtube videos and most of the time I'm laughing at the different accents so actually I'm not going anywhere, not doing anything

I can't wait to go to poly,or at least I hope I get into poly because then I'm just going to do what I love for three friggin years.

I also applied for DPA (hell,like anyone cares) and I applied for mass communications in Republic,Temasek and Ngee Ann.
I was just trying okaaaaaaaayyy.I know Ngee Ann is super duper competitive and  practically everyone wants to go there-horrors I;m getting mainstream now-

Blah blah blah

Today I did nothing except stuff and thinking about things and certain people I really shouldn't be thinking about

Some days I just want to stay on and never get off

I took a nearly long bus ride today.It was great,I sat up front like some little kid on the top deck and felt the ice cold wind blasting from the air-con vents.I loved it.I should do it more often.

Of course the whole feeling feeling shiok sendiri moment was spoilt when some kids sat behind me and started chatting about angry birds. I.Don't.Like.That

But then back to me,(because I'm selfish that way).I started thinking how maybe I probably wouldn't get to enjoy this anymore,especially when I've finished my O's and I know I've screwed up.
I can't screw up.But  know I probably will anyway.

You know sometimes, when you take long journeys like these,you shouldn't think it's an absolute bore,and start taking out your phones to text your friends or listen to music or whatever.
You should look around.Life's more fun that way.People don't realise that. Watch that old lady down the path adjusting her wedgie.Laugh at that young couple arguing.Scoff at some big school boy making his maid carry his loaded school bag for him.Think about what they're talking about,because you can't hear them.
 For those few moments,someone else's lives come alive to you.
You're no longer cooped up in that tragic,hollow shell of yours. All because you care to observe.

And that is why I love long bus rides.Sometimes I never want to get off.

I want to be the best person I could ever be

I can't seem to think of anything remotely interesting that I would want to write about.And I way prefer literally writing.Because.I type.So.Slow

And I am getting boring-er now.so so boring,This is what exams do to you.

And,how would I be expected to conjure up seemingly interesting anecdotes of my life when in honest,brutal reality, there is nothing going on with my life?Of course with the exception of Afiqah(who can by actual fact make every single gray day of my life turn a shade rainbowy) THAT'S RIGHT,EVEN WHEN I'M FRUSTRATED AT YOUR BLURNESS, BITCH

Mostly I think it's the computer screen.I can't seem to let my train of thoughts follow through when there is blank white page in front of me,spoiling my eyes and contributing to myopia -.-
Hurts my back,too. The computer is hindering my creative writing process!
I am so cut away from technology,I'll hardly survive if I don't do much about it.
(I have twitter :P)


Today I have ranted simply about nothing

Seven little numbers baby this could be a start